Interest Versus Position: An Old Negotiation Trick That Can Super-Charge Your Active Listening Skills
Empathy-driven problem-solving for mutual success.
Discover integrating two invaluable leadership techniques, “interest versus position” and “active listening” for real-world problem-solving.
Learn about the transformation of negotiation theory from an 80s sales tactic to a cornerstone of effective communication and conflict resolution, highlighting the significance of understanding underlying needs over surface demands.
Explore a real-life application of active listening and the “interest versus position” strategy, demonstrating the power of empathy and creative problem-solving in achieving mutual satisfaction and success.
As a producer, I routinely use two of the best leadership techniques I learned from volunteering at Burning Man as a Black Rock Ranger: “interest versus position” with “active listening.” As a Ranger, you are a community mediator who helps participants and staff solve problems and makes everyone’s Burning Man experience awesome. We attend compulsory annual training where we integrate interest versus position and active listening into role-playing scenarios to hone our skills for the real world.
Rangers are often called to de-escalate situations in a harsh, emotional, and stressful environment for some participants. As we are just volunteer participants with no authority, we frequently need to employ techniques like interest versus position in conjunction with active listening to help people find the answers to their problems.
Originally a sales technique for closing deals, negotiation theory’s interest versus position principle is now fundamental. It is often attributed to the pioneering work of Roger Fisher and William Ury in their book “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In,” first published in 1981. This principle distinguishes between parties’ positions (what they say they want) and their interests (the underlying reasons why they want it).
It always strikes me as ironic that an event such as Burning Man is where I honed a sales technique deeply embedded in the excesses of 80s business culture. The Burning Man event ‘Decomdifcation Zone,’ a space free from advertising and transactional relationships, is not beholden to corporate influence.
What is active listening?
Active listening is a communication technique for fully engaging with and understanding a speaker’s message. It involves not just hearing the words spoken but also paying attention to nonverbal cues, such as tone of voice and body language.
Active listeners show attentiveness through body language, like nodding, maintaining eye contact, and leaning forward slightly. They also provide feedback by paraphrasing or summarising what has been said to confirm understanding and asking open-ended questions to encourage a more profound exploration of the topic.
Active listening is about creating a supportive environment where the speaker feels heard, validated, and understood, fostering open and effective communication.
What is interest versus position?
Interest versus position is a concept that helps people navigate conflicts and find common ground by focusing on underlying needs rather than surface demands. When someone takes a position, they’re stating what they think they want, like insisting on a specific bedtime for a child. However, their interest is the deeper reason behind this stance, such as the child’s health or ensuring they’re well-rested for school.
Individuals can explore creative solutions that satisfy everyone’s core needs by identifying and discussing interests, leading to more harmonious and effective resolutions. This approach encourages open dialogue, empathy, and understanding, transforming potential conflicts into opportunities for collaboration.
A parable about two chefs and one orange
In a bustling kitchen, two chefs found themselves at an impasse over the last dessert course for the evening. Both insisted they needed the final orange to complete their dishes, each taking a firm stance on possessing the entire fruit. As the tension mounted, their sous-chef, caught in the middle and driven by frustration, decided to cut the orange in half, hoping to settle the dispute with a simple compromise.
However, this action only partially addressed their immediate demands, leaving both chefs partially satisfied but not fully. It wasn’t until they vented their frustrations and discussed their needs further that they uncovered their underlying interests. One chef revealed he needed only the zest of the orange to garnish his creation, aiming for a burst of flavour and colour. The other required the juice to infuse his dessert with a tangy essence, hoping to balance the sweetness with a hint of citrus.
Had they explored these interests from the start, they could have realised that their needs did not actually conflict. One could have taken the zest, and the other the juice, fully utilising the orange without compromising.
This parable underscored the importance of looking beyond immediate solutions to understand the deeper needs and possibilities, leading to a more harmonious and efficient resolution.
How can active listening and interest versus position work together?
When you actively listen, you dive more profoundly than just hearing someone’s words; you grasp the essence of their needs and desires. This approach sets the stage for moving past mere demands to the heart of what matters to everyone involved. You encourage openness and honesty by paying close attention, acknowledging feelings, and asking about the why behind a stance.
In this atmosphere of trust, it becomes easier to see past the surface level of conflicts or disagreements. People feel understood and are more willing to explore the underlying reasons for their positions. This understanding allows everyone to creatively think of ways to meet those fundamental needs rather than getting stuck on who gets what.
The magic happens when this deep listening helps unravel a situation’s complexities. Suddenly, solutions that satisfy everyone’s core interests emerge, often in ways that weren’t initially apparent. This process resolves the immediate issue and strengthens relationships, making future interactions more about mutual support and less about winning or losing.
An example from my experience
“The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
I have had the great fortune to work on a few game services that were well-oiled machines in my day.
In this case, our production team was accountable for app releases every three weeks. We worked very hard to reduce the number of unplanned client releases (aka point releases) between those releases by applying discipline and fine-tuning the release process. Unplanned client releases are expensive and tend to have knock-on effects for the up-and-coming releases. They are also a personal pet peeve of mine.
The impact of unplanned releases grows even more tenuous as the Christmas holiday approaches, as the app stores shut down and many team members begin to take well-earned time off.
So here we were, about to close up shop for client work for the year, when a product director suddenly pulled us production folk into a conference room. We learned that a bug in production from the last client release only appears to impact the newly released event scheduled for the period over the holiday. Due to the systems we were working with, it was tough for the QA to catch such bugs in UAT testing environments, especially for new event types.
With a “hold the presses” position, the product director insisted that everyone stop what they were doing, fix the bug, and prepare a new release. This event represented a material revenue needed to make out the quarter. The room erupted with protests and dire warnings of doom if we were compelled to ask people to change holiday plans after communicating our release freeze plans. The product director, accountable for revenue, was not taking no for an answer.
I first calmed everyone down and thought it wise to include the QA and dev leads in the conversation. We then began a simple root-cause analysis of the bug and had the product folks accountable for the event explain how to reproduce the problem. After a few more ad-hoc hallway meetings and digging into the code, it turned out there was a client-relayed issue that needed a client release to fix correctly.
I called a huddle and continued to ask open-ended questions about the bug and the result the product team was looking for as an acceptable fix. This led to ideas about other ways to address the issue, such as working around the bug if the product team was okay with a less-than-perfect but fully playable event.
The lead dev says, “If you are okay with that, I might have a solution.” They returned to their workstation and devised a creative way to work around the problem, which required only a simple server-side fix. As server-side issues can be hot-fixed in a live production environment, we were able to schedule the work and test the fix the very next day.
Like the parable above, the product director took the position we needed to update the client and have an unplanned release to fix the bug. By active listening, asking open-ended questions, finding opportunities for collaboration, and whipping up some server code magic, we could satisfy the product director’s interest in a fully functional, if not 100% perfect, event without an unplanned client release. The event went off without a hitch with no reported complaints from Customer Service, and we hit our quarterly revenue target.
Conclusion
As we move forward, let’s carry these lessons with us, applying them to both our professional and personal lives. The journey toward mastering active listening and leveraging the interest versus position strategy is ongoing. Still, each step brings us closer to enriching interactions and a deeper understanding of those around us. Here’s to navigating our paths with empathy, creativity, and a commitment to finding common ground.
Thank you for endulging me talking about Buring Man. One thing about ‘Burners’ is we cannot shut-up talking about it. Ping me if you are interted in learning more about building a city of 70,000 poeple at one of the most unhospitable places on earth that only exists for one week of the year.
Special thanks to the Ranger Training Academy to building leaders, both in and out of Black Rock City.