Stop Trying to Get Your Teammates to Agree with You
Effective persuasion goes beyond seeking agreement, emphasising empathy and trust to deepen connections and turn interactions into meaningful collaborations.
As a game producer, your role frequently involves guiding a diverse cross-functional team in delivering value to the player. This team often consists of individuals with intricate reporting lines due to the matrix structure of the organisation. Sometimes, these people may be senior to you or have more years of experience. Consequently, you might need to cultivate agreements among team members to meet your delivery goals.
Reflecting on my journey as a producer in game development, I recognise that one of the most significant challenges was gaining the team’s buy-in for my unconventional ideas. This path was marked by a spectrum of outcomes, from mixed successes to complete failures that backfired spectacularly. However, these experiences have become valuable lessons, highlighting the rewarding nature of consensus-building. They brought me closer to my team and led to the development of more effective solutions.
Don’t fixate on attaining agreement:
In our quest to persuade others, a common pitfall lies in fixating exclusively on attaining agreement. This singular focus can lead us astray, as pursuing mere agreement is a shallow objective that overlooks the deeper nuances of effective communication. The routine error many make is to channel all their energies into expounding and promoting the advantages of their ideas, engaging in an unrelenting quest to secure that sought-after ‘yes’. This approach, however, is inherently flawed.
The reason for this flaw is simple yet profound: it fails to account for a critical aspect of human interaction – the necessity of understanding the other person’s perspective. Persuasion is not just about conveying your message; it’s about connecting with the audience more profoundly. This involves exploring the reasons behind their resistance or reluctance. What aspects of your idea are causing unease or scepticism? Are there underlying fears, concerns, or doubts that they are wrestling with? Understanding their perspective is not limited to grasping their comprehension of your idea; it’s about empathising with their emotions, concerns, and beliefs that your proposal might trigger.
The moment of transformation in any persuasive effort occurs when the audience realises their viewpoint is genuinely understood. At this point, a significant shift happens in the birth of trust. Your role evolves when you demonstrate a proper grasp of their concerns and viewpoints. You are no longer perceived merely as a promoter or salesperson pushing an agenda. Instead, you are seen as a trusted ally who acknowledges and appreciates their apprehensions and viewpoints. This change is not about relinquishing your original idea or proposal. Instead, it’s about moving away from aggressive persuasion tactics and engaging in a more empathetic and understanding approach.
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Trust forms the foundation of all meaningful relationships, whether personal or professional. Once your audience trusts and believes in your sincerity, their perception shifts. They begin to see that your advocacy for a particular idea or course of action isn’t just about your agenda, concerns, and perspectives. This mutual understanding is a potent catalyst in altering the conversation dynamics. The interaction evolves from an aggressive stance to one of collaboration and partnership. Your audience begins to consider your perspective not as something to be countered but as a viewpoint to be understood and valued. In this newfound space of mutual respect and understanding, you are no longer adversaries but collaborators, working together towards a common goal guided by shared understanding and respect.
Such a shift enhances the potential for effective persuasion and fosters a deeper, more meaningful connection. It underscores the importance of empathy, understanding, and trust in all forms of communication, paving the way for more collaborative and successful interactions.
Soft-skill tools for understanding the perspective of others:
Understanding the perspective of others is not just a skill but a critical tool for effective communication and leadership. It enables us to create connections, foster trust, and build meaningful relationships.
Here are six powerful methods to achieve this understanding:
Active Listening
Empathy
Open-Ended Questions
Non-Verbal Communication Cues
Feedback and Paraphrasing
Focusing on Interests Rather Than Positions
Active Listening:
Active listening involves fully concentrating on the speaker, understanding their message, responding appropriately, and remembering what was said. It’s about engaging with the speaker both verbally and non-verbally. Verbal responses include asking questions for clarity and summarising their points. Non-verbal cues involve nodding, maintaining eye contact, and leaning in slightly, showing that you are fully immersed in the conversation. For example, if a colleague is expressing concerns about a project, an active listener would not only hear the words but also notice the stress in their voice, reflecting, “It sounds like you’re really under pressure with this deadline.”
Empathy:
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It goes beyond simply acknowledging another person’s situation; it involves connecting with them emotionally. For instance, if a team member is upset about a missed promotion, empathising would mean acknowledging their disappointment and understanding the feelings behind it, such as saying, “I can see how much this meant to you, and it’s understandable to feel disappointed.” Empathy helps build emotional connections, crucial for effective communication and relationship building.
Open-Ended Questions:
These questions encourage a full, meaningful answer using the subject’s knowledge and feelings rather than a simple yes or no. They are instrumental in understanding the more profound thoughts and feelings of others. For instance, instead of asking a team member, “Did you find the task challenging?” you could ask, “What were the challenges you faced during this task?” This encourages them to share their experiences and perspectives, giving you a more precise and detailed understanding.
Non-Verbal Communication Cues:
Non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions, gestures, posture, and tone of voice, can often reveal more than words. For example, a person may say they are fine, but their slumped shoulders and averted gaze might suggest they are feeling down. Attention to these signals can give insights into their true feelings and thoughts. It’s essential to consider these cues in the context of the individual’s communication style and cultural background to avoid misinterpretation.
Feedback and Paraphrasing:
This involves repeating what the speaker has said in your own words. It is a way to demonstrate that you have understood their point and are engaged in the conversation. This technique ensures clarity and shows respect for the speaker’s perspective. For example, if a colleague explains a complex concept, you might respond, “So, if I’m understanding correctly, you’re suggesting that...” This allows them to correct any misunderstandings and feel heard and understood.
Focusing on Interests Rather Than Positions:
This technique involves identifying and addressing the underlying interests behind the stated positions of individuals, which often leads to more effective and collaborative solutions. Unlike positions, which are often rigid and specific, interests encompass the reasons, needs, or desires that underlie those positions. Understanding and addressing these interests allows you to find common ground and solutions that satisfy all parties involved.
Key takeaways:
Navigating the complexities of game production involves more than just directing a team; it’s about cultivating a shared vision. Key lessons from this journey include the importance of seeking agreement and truly understanding team members’ perspectives. Focusing on empathy rather than mere persuasion, this deeper engagement transforms relationships from confrontational to collaborative.
Understanding others through active listening, empathy, and open-ended questions reveals their concerns and interests. This approach fosters trust and leads to more innovative and effective solutions. In essence, successful game production hinges on connecting with and understanding your team profoundly, creating a foundation for mutual respect and shared success.